About me

Hi, I'm Infinity. I've been diagnosed with PTSD—and a handful of other "Ds" for "Disorder." Despite these challenges, I’m a proud transgender, autistic, parent to three amazing kids, and I currently hold a leadership role in the tech industry. My decision to remain anonymous here is to protect these two essential parts of my life as I share my mental health journey. While I’d love to be completely open, I owe it to myself and my family to keep some distance—for now.

Mental health stigma is still very real, both in the U.S. and around the world. In the U.S. the current administration is trying to deny and erase people like me, all the while calling it protection. Too many people don't understand how oppression can be dressed up as oppression.

I recognize that sharing my experiences publicly could affect not only me but also others close to me who are already facing their own struggles and challenges with mental health. Please respect my privacy by not attempting to contact me outside this blog unless we’re already personally connected.

Why I Created This Space

This website is my way of sharing my path toward better mental health through living as my authentic self. Mental health is health. I believe in the possibility of healing, and I’m living proof of it. I feel a calling to share my story in the hopes that it might inspire others to find their own maps, take their own journeys, and seek their own peace and wellness.

Wellness, I’ve learned, isn’t a destination—it’s a journey. I can’t promise cures or a happiness that never fades to anyone who does the things I did and found healing. My peace falters, as it does for everyone. But I now understand that on the other side of pain lies joy, and on the other side of joy lies pain. It’s a personal balance we all are seeking, and will find our own unique ways to achieve.

"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something." —Wesley, The Princess Bride

I'm not selling anything here. This space is free of ads and accessible to anyone willing to read or listen.

My Journey and Labels

My mental health and wellness journey has been long and winding, marked by multiple ‘Ds’ along the way: Major Depressive Disorder, Postpartum Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, PTSD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, and more. I used to see these labels as 'Disorders,' defining what was wrong with me, but now I view them as 'Dynamics'—aspects of me that are a part of a greater whole. They often help me communicate and understand my needs, but I won't let them define me. I’ve learned to see beyond them and recognize that, no matter what the label, I am—and will always be—me.

This journey is something that I recognize as inter generational. I am still traveling closely with my children as they grow up. I hope my healing help them and their future children as well. And while both my parents have passed, I hope I’ve made them proud, honoring them and my ancestors by seeking peace within and breaking the very cycles of trauma and abuse they came to the United States hoping to escape.

Telling My Story Through Fiction

In this space, I’ll share my story through the fictional character June Hart, who navigates mental health challenges that mirror my own. This fictionalization lets me keep details abstracted, but the essence remains authentic. I’ve transformed my journals, some dating back to age nine, into a third-person narrative with the help of AI. I know this is controversial, but I figured that my story can't possibly be anyone else's. AI simply helps me tell it in the best way possible.

My first series will be a quadrilogy called Birthing Infinity. It is an epic tale of middle age resilience and recovery that starts just as June emerges from the depths of depression. It is a depression the doctors deemed bipolar. But after three long years of suffering, June begins to emerge from it by asking a simple question. What if I'm not Bipolar?

That question sends her on a quest that she would never have guessed would end with her realizing she was autistic and transgender. As she questions her diagnosis, she begins to question everything. She journeys through the highs and lows that carry her through the questioning, testing the lines between reality and delusion, before finally finding clarity and peace.

A Journey of Healing

Healing is not a static place, and I can’t promise that where I am today is where I’ll be tomorrow. I can't guarantee that once a label is affixed, it will never lose adherence. Some labels are long lasting, and some come and go. I continue to learn, grow, and gain wisdom each day. This evolution, I believe, will continue until I move on to whatever adventure awaits next after I die.

Until then, I’m here to share my experience. Buckle up; it’s going to be a wild ride.

Metta Sutta & Namaste,
Infinity

P.S.

The Importance of Addressing Trauma

Only recently have I understood the role early childhood experiences and trauma play in adult mental health, especially the unique impact of Complex PTSD, a form of PTSD often rooted in unresolved, pre-verbal childhood traumas.

I’ve discovered that most mental health conditions are co-morbid with trauma, making it a fundamental part of my healing process. Unpacking and understanding my own childhood trauma has helped me see how these experiences shaped my brain, wiring me for a lifetime of coping patterns that carried into adulthood.

This is why I named my blog Purple Hearts 4 Mental Health. Just as purple hearts honor veterans who suffered in service, I believe we honor those who endure mental health struggles by recognizing the silent battles of trauma and resilience.

Honoring Service Members and First Responders

While I’ve chosen the symbolism of the purple heart, I want to be clear that I deeply respect the service and sacrifices of our military members, their families, and first responders who risk their lives for others. Their bravery humbles me, and I mean no disrespect in drawing on this symbol for my blog.

Many of us carry intergenerational trauma, whether as descendants of veterans, immigrants, enslaved individuals, or indigenous peoples. As we continue to navigate the impacts of these histories, healing these traumas honors those who came before us.

By addressing mental health openly, we step forward on a journey not only toward personal wellness but also collective healing. Through this blog, I hope to contribute to that journey for myself and for you.

Fast Facts from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):

1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year
1 in 6 U.S. youth (ages 6-17) experience a mental health disorder each year
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among individuals aged 10-14

By sharing my journey, I aim to be part of the solution, destigmatizing mental health and honoring the resilience in all of us.